To the virtuous person who hit a beige Lincoln MKZ parked in the 200-block of Reedmere sometime late Sunday night/ early Monday morning:

It wasn't my car; it was my father's. He passed away unexpectedly in mid-April and he LOVED that car. I put off selling it and have been driving it over the summer because it reminds me of him and I miss him. You, however, were probably drunk or looking at your phone, hit it, thought to yourself about the financial and legal trouble you'd be in, saw that it was a nice car on a nice block, assumed I had the cash to pay for it (I don't) and drove away.

I leave you a quote from the prematurely departed Kurt Cobain:
If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

Enjoy the karma.